There’s been a bit of talk recently about whether parents secretly have a favourite child. Some people say it’s the eldest, while a recent survey* says that the youngest is more likely to get preferential treatment.
I have two girls, aged three and one, and I can honestly say that I don’t have a favourite.
They’re both so different – Big Sis is fiercely independent, outgoing, and goofy. Lil Sis is shy and suspicious at first, but cheeky and playful once she’s warmed up.
Big Sis will struggle out of your arms when you give her a cuddle, while Lil Sis will throw herself into them with such determination I’ve nicknamed them Kamikaze hugs.
Big Sis isn’t intimidated by crowds, and will walk through Tesco, singing at the top of her lungs, not even slightly bothered by the fact everyone is staring. Lil Sis comes out of her shell when she’s one-on-one, but loves to make you laugh. If she realises she’s done something funny, she’ll do it over and over, just to see your reaction.
They even look completely different. Big Sis has dark hair, dark eyes, and olive skin. Lil Sis is strawberry blond, with blue/hazel eyes (they’re still changing colour) and peachy pale skin that’s going to be a nightmare in summer.
But I love their differences. I’m so proud of Big Sis’s independence, the fact she adapts quickly to any situation, and the way she calls everyone ‘my friend’. And I adore the way Lil Sis walks around giggling at nothing in particular, and snuggles into me so tightly it’s like she’s glued to my chest.
Of course there are days when one child is more pleasant to be around than the other, but then the next day the order is reversed, so it all evens out.
As they grow older I might find that one child is more similar to me in personality, and in the way their mind works, and it might be easier to get along with them as a result. But surely part of the challenge of being a Mum is figuring out, as best as you can, how your children tick.
It might be hard work, but I imagine it’s also incredibly rewarding when you ‘crack the code’. Besides, if it was too easy, it would get a bit boring, wouldn’t it?
Perhaps I’m just lucky that I have a great connection with my both my children – despite, or maybe because of, their differences.
What do you think???
* Bounty.com carried out a survey of 1803 people
I think you’ve summed it up perfectly! My youngest son often claims that I like him less than the others and I always tell him I like them all equally (he is just the one who currently winds me up the most!). I am sure sometimes that people say these sorts of things to make us feel even more guilty as parents!
As I am currently pregnant with my second child this is something I’m thinking about a lot at the moment. My daughter is amazing. I feel like I totally get her and even though she’s only three she is like a friend as well as a daughter. Of course I know I will love the second child just as much and they will be amazing too but I also can’t help thinking we struck gold first time. How will be so lucky to get someone so wonderful with baby number 2?
Hi Nikki, my Mum used to tell me: I always love you, but I don’t always like you – now I have kids I know just what she means, LOL!! x
PhotoPuddle: I didn’t know you were pregnant again – huge congrats!!! How’s it all going? I felt the same with Big Sis – I was so enamoured with her – but I felt the same connection with Lil Sis even thought they’re two really different characters. x
Both your little monkeys are equally gorgeous. I think sometimes I’m much harder on number 1 than I should be, as I’m still ‘babying’ number 2 but honestly can’t say I prefer one to the other. What amazes me is how much you can love both together and individually, just the force of that feeling! I have to remind myself though that it’s not enough for me to feel that I love them equally but for both boys to truly feel and know it to their bones.