Even before she was born, Big Sis did things her way, and on her own terms. She was two weeks overdue, and even after three attempts to induce her, and 50 hours of non-established (but still agonisingly painful) labour, she refused to make a show.
Finally the docs stepped in, overruling my desire to keep waiting, and popped her ‘out the sun roof’ as one (male) doctor delightfully described it.
Since then she has continued to display an often unsettling level of independence.
She’s three (and a quarter) now. I realise this is the age when kids start wanting to do things for themselves, but Big Sis seems to be on independence overdrive.
The arrival of Lil Sis has brought it more sharply into focus, as she’s such a different character. Big Sis is bolshy and gregarious, and doesn’t get intimidated by crowds, or people she doesn’t recognise. Lil Sis is more cautious and clingy, and takes much longer to warm up with people. I know there’s a two-year age gap, but Big Sis has always been like this – even as a baby.
Take them to a play group and Lil Sis never strays far from my side. Big Sis, on the other hand, is off like a rocket. She isn’t remotely bothered if I’m out of sight, and when I do go up to check that she’s OK, she shoos me away like I’m cramping her style. Even if she hurts herself she’ll only tolerate the briefest of cuddles before demanding to be put down.
Most of the time I’m proud of her fierce independence and it does make life a little easier. At least I know I’ll be the only one crying at the school gate next year!
I’m not talking the simple things like dressing herself, which she actually does quite well – including socks, shoes and, if the mood strikes her, a hat, and sunglasses.
There was the time she tried to use the iron herself. She dug it out of the conservatory, unwound it, plugged it in to the hall socket, and then burned her leg trying to carry it back through the kitchen. God knows where she learned that from – I don’t even iron!
The other morning I was slowly easing my way out of bed after the Big Sis alarm clock went off (‘Mummy, Mummy, wake up! I hungry!’). By the time I got Lil Sis up and made my way downstairs 10 minutes later, Big Sis was already sitting in the kitchen, by herself, enjoying a spot of brekkie.
She’d gone in one cupboard and retrieved a bowl, then unclipped the child lock on another cupboard to fetch the cereal box. She’d then dragged a chair over to the fridge, and climbed up to get the milk. She’d filled her bowl, set the milk up on the bench, then fished around in the drawer until she happened upon a spoon.
If she fancies a snack, she simply rummages around in the fridge until she finds a yoghurt, or a punnet of cherry tomatoes. She pours her own cups of milk, and (usually) manages to do it without spilling a drop.
I half expect to come home next week and find her all packed up, and ready to move into her own flat.
If she’s like this at 3, what the heck is she going to be like at 13!?!
DD is three next month and we have much of what you describe. She helps herself to chocolate from the fridge as a snack before breakfast (breakfast is in nursery). In the afternoon she’ll also take an apple or a yogurt. Now she has an opinion about which of her clothes she will wear and which she won’t…. It’s exhausting.
What a brilliant post and what an amazing little girl!! My daughter is nearly two and already shows an unnerving sense of independence and after three boys, it has been a shock! My youngest son is 6 and he would still let me dress him and wipe his bum if he could! By thirteen hopefully she will be a big help to her mum!?
Have to say, that’s pretty amazing – my 5-year-old sounds a bit more like Lil Sis and wouldn’t dream of making her own breakfast. She enjoys being waited upon far too much!!
You have an independent little girl! My daughter is nearly four, and she wants to do things on her own, often insisting that she’s a big girl now.