Not like that, you filthy lot – I mean the sex of my partly-baked bun, due early Autumn!
The 20-week scan is now looming, and I keep getting asked: ‘Will you find out the sex?’ The quick answer is, ‘Hell yeah!’
I understand why some people choose to wait until the birth until they find out if they’re having a boy or a girl – it’s romantic, and makes the birth even more exciting – but it’s just not an option for me.
Firstly, I hate surprises (unless it involves finding money in an old jacket pocket). I’m a journalist – I make a living by being nosy, and finding things out. I’m just not genetically programmed to be one of those ‘wait-and-see-what-happens’ types. I need to know how, why, where and when. Then I make lots of little lists in my head, and on scraps of paper.
For me, it’s nice to know the sex because I can start thinking of my bump as a ‘he’ or ‘she’. It becomes a person, rather than just ‘the baby’. I can stop wracking my brains for irrelevant names that my partner and I both agree on (last time, from a book of 1001 baby names, we found just one we both liked).
I’ll know whether to hold on to all my daughter’s old clothes, or start stockpiling boy’s stuff. Friends and family will have a better idea of what to buy for the new arrival too (there’s only so much yellow and beige you can dress a baby in…)
With Big Sis we were completely and utterly convinced we were having a boy. I’d always pictured myself with sons, and right from the beginning we’d instinctively said ‘he’. Everyone who saw my bump stated with absolute certainty it was a ‘boy bump’.
I interviewed a clairvoyant for a magazine feature, and she broke off halfway through to tell me: ‘It’s a boy, you know.’ I was even stopped in the street by an old Greek woman, who said: ‘I have five children, I know these things – you’re carrying a boy!’
So when the second scan revealed a little girl, my partner and I were flabbergasted. If I’m honest, it kind of detracted from the excitement of the moment, because we were both so taken aback. Of course, once we wrapped our heads around the idea of a little girl a few moments later, we were totally thrilled.
I’ve tried hard not to make predictions this time around, since my gut instincts are clearly rubbish, but your mind inevitably starts leaning one way or another, and I’d just rather it was leaning the right way before the baby arrives.
What are your thoughts? Do you prefer to find out the sex at the second scan, or at the birth???
We found out at the 20 week scan that we were having a boy, and I will find out again if we have a second baby. I am so glad that we did, as I was so out of it and exhausted when Piran was born that I don’t really remember it. I have a crystal clear memory of the day we found out it was a boy, right down to the tears in my husband’s eyes and I think that is amazing.
I didn’t find out with my first because I wanted a surprise and I was glad after a long labour to be told It’s a boy! I found out with my 2nd because it was more practical. Money was tight so it meant we knew whether we could reuse baby clothes or buy new stuff. We didn’t actually find out at the 2nd scan but at a 3D scan when I was 27 weeks. We just decided at the last minute to find out! To keep it a bit of a secret though we didn’t tell anyone else what we were having. I think it was nice knowing but it was nice getting a surprise too. I used the chinese gender prediction for a bit of fun and both times it was right! Good luck with your scan!
I wanted to find out about our first, but he wasn’t telling. The surprise was so fun that we didn’t find out about our second. I’d probably do the same again. I had a friend who found out and then got the opposite. Out went all the little boy things she’d already bought. Even if we try to plan sometimes life throws a spanner in the works just to spice things up. Hope all goes well with the scan.
We wanted to find out but baby was being shy and not showing its bits. The sonographer said it looked ‘girlish’ which didn’t really help! I had to have another scan at 32 weeks and found out it was a girl. I’m so impatient, I had to find out and would next time too!
Do you think you’re having a boy or girl this time?
I had to find out both times. I’m a planner and love to be organized and prepared. No surprises here!
Kelly: I know what you mean! By the time Lucia arrived after 50-odd hours and an emergency c-section, I was so spaced out I could barely remember my own name!!
Laura: I can definitely see how that moment would be extra exciting if you’re also finding out the sex for the first time – shame I’m so darn impatient!!!
Skirts and Wellies: Ah, the old crossed legs scenario… I really feel for your friend – that must have been one hell of a shock at the birth!!! After having so many people tell us Lucia was a boy, I was a bit concerned the same would happen to us. But, a little girl we were promised, and a little girl we got!
Make Do Mum: Looked ‘girlish’? What the heck does that mean??? How frustrating, spesh after you’d made up your mind to find out. I’m not even attempting to guess this time round – I’ve already proven how crap I am at that! I try to imagine being told one way or the other, and both outcomes make me feel excited – a boy would make me a tiny bit more nervous though, as I feel like I know how to deal with girls now. Boys are a bit more of a mystery.
Cross the Pond: I hear ya! I can’t stand surprises of any kind. They make me reeeeeally uncomfortable. I need to know what I’m up against.