They sleep like they’re sunbathing on the French Riviera.
Babies will not fit around your lifestyle, no matter how many times you assure yourself beforehand that they will.
It’s a squillion times easier to bite their nails, than worry about chopping their fingertips off with nail clippers.
They have weird nightmares where they start crying their little hearts out. Only after you’ve leapt up, spilled your coffee, and lost two years off your life do you realise that they’re actually still sound asleep.
They make you sing songs about poo, and make up ridiculous nicknames like; Schmoochy McSchmoo Schmoo.
Long Baby Gap socks are the only ones that actually stay on. Likewise, slippers won’t last more than a few seconds – unless you Duct tape them to the baby’s ankles (disclaimer: author does not condone the practice of Duct taping babies).
Baby seats and three-door cars are not a good combo.
Little baby-sized denim jeans might look totally adorable, but they’re a complete pain in the arse to put on, and will only need to be changed an hour later once they’ve been peed, dribbled, or puked on. Ditto for mini-jackets, and trendy hoodies. In fact, forget all about fashion for the first six months and stick with simple wrap-around onesies!
You won’t die from sleep deprivation. Although, after getting up four times a night for a couple of months, death might seem like an attractive option…
A big gurning morning smile makes all the rubbishy bits worthwhile!!
Ha ha! This is fantastic!
Sat here laughing and agreeing with everything.
Also relieved to know we are not the only ones who make up songs about poopy woopy woo….I mean poo!
Hi, so true, the cry while asleep happened just last night. He’s been wearing jeans for a few months but today he had a gorgeous outfit on and it’s in the wash after only a few hours thanks to solids…
I keep making up songs too.
RE: nail clippers, we’ve actually had no problems, except that I don’t cut them nearly often enough. And he keeps scratching me; I swear he was a cat in a past life.
Liska x
So true. So true. Especially the socks and fitting around them not you!
You are right about Gap socks – but I have found something even better – tights! My two have been wearing tights under their trousers since it got cold in about October. They have learned not to get frustrated anymore and they don’t even try to pull them off! It’s a winner!
I love this, and your so right about the morning smiles.
I can’t get through a day without seeing my morning smile : D
i too sat and nodded to all of this. and after they have been babies they turn into toddlers, complete with their own interesting habits!
So true! And then you find yourself singing your silly songs as you walk down the street, even if the baby isn’t with you.
Aww I love that knocked out sunbathing sleep pose (as so beautifully demonstrated by your munchkin) and great description by the way. This post really cheered me up x
Lauren: And how embarrassing is it when you forget where you are, and use the same silly slang words around adults?? Cringe! x
Liska: The cry gets me every time! They just sound sooooo sad. My littlest did it just last night. x
Gemma: Everyone thinks they’ll be different, don’t they? And everyone learns the hard way… LOL!! x
Mummy of 4: Yes!!!! I use tight during the coldest months too. Much easier…x
Dee: Aren’t they the best? They just make your heart leap, don’t they?
Undomesticated Scientist: Ha Ha! I’ve posted about that too!!! x
Midlife Single Mum: Or using embarrassing baby language like: ‘Look at the liddle-widdle Choo-Choo train!! x
Babes About Town: I LOVE the way they sleep like that! It’s so cute. I wonder why they do it though?? x
I do remember vividly constantly waking up thinking the baby was crying. And no sleep deprivation doesn’t kill you but it does make your hair grey!
Thanks for taking part in the BMB Carnival.
And after a few years you will instantly forget all the bad stuff and remember only that life was a dream and want to do it all again.