5 HOUSEPLANTS THAT WILL (ALMOST) ALWAYS STAY ALIVE

I’ve always been a crazy plant lady, way before it was fashionable. When I was a kid I dreamed of having a house so filled with greenery it was like living inside a Victorian glasshouse.

My plans came to a screeching halt when I met OH, as he didn’t like houseplants. Like, at all.

For years I lived in a plant-barren home, but after we completed our renovations I staged a rebellion. We had a snazzy display unit in our new kitchen-diner, and I realised it needed to be brought to life.

I started by sneaking a houseplant in, then another, then another… as the shelves got leafier I realised I was I was building a plant wall. If OH noticed, he never said anything, so my collection continued to grow. Finally, one day, he turned to me and said: ‘I think that wall of plants is my favourite part of the house.’

You could have knocked me down with a fern frond.

Of course, I took that as permission to continue to fill the house with plants, which I duly did (and am still doing).

I won’t lie – there have been casualties along the way. See, I love plants but I’m not always the most conscientious mum; the watering schedule has been a bit hit and miss, which has resulted in some collateral damage (I’m looking at you, maidenhair fern and string of pearls plant). Sometimes I wouldn’t water them enough and then I’d overcompensate and water them too much and rot the roots.

It turns out there’s many ways to murder a pot plant.

However, that process is also how I struck upon my list of houseplants that are almost impossible to kill. If you’re a plant-loving-water-forgetting gal, like me, you might find these suggestions useful too. I’ll start with one of my absolute favourites (which you can also see at the top of the page).

1: WAX PLANT (Hoya Carnosa Tricolor):

I wrote about this little beauty when I first got it, and it’s gone from strength the strength since. Its leaves are thick and glossy and reach for the sunlight, and its long tendrils tumble over the shelf. Best of all, it sits there happily growing and looking gorgeous and doesn’t care in the slightest if it goes a week (or more!) without watering.

The fact it’s a tropical succulent earns it a primo place on my houseplants that are almost impossible to kill list, as the water in the leaves can sustain it during dry spells. It actually likes bright sunlight (although not direct) and is happy for the soil to go completely dry between waterings. To top it all off, this variegated style means the leaves have the cutest pale pink edges.

2: DEVIL’S IVY (Epipremnum aureum/Pothos)

This is often mixed up with Philodendron scandens (another fav of mine, see below!) and comes in a lot of variations – including gold, solid green and white. I’m particularly in love with this ‘Satin Pothos’ with its pretty silver and white speckles.

This plant seems to do well everywhere, but I’ve found this one particularly loves either a nice light spot, or the moisture-filled bathroom – when I’ve had it in a shady spot I’ve found the foliage thins out and the plant looks a bit stringy. It’s super low maintenance, and doesn’t even begin to complain until the top couple of inches of soil are dry.

3: SNAKE PLANT (Dracaena trifasciata/Sansevieria/Mother-in-law’s Tongue)

This is the plant killer’s dream come true, as the Snake Plant (which we call Mother-in-Law’s tongue in NZ) literally thrives on neglect. Heralding from West Africa, the only awkward thing about this plant is that fact it was recently reclassified from a Sanseveria, to a member of the Dracaena genus (Dracaena trifasciata, to be exact).

Other than that, this plant is a botanical breeze. I’ve kept mine in shade, sunlight and everywhere in between. This is one of my oldest plants; over the last couple of years I’ve been very remiss with giving it the love it deserves (it used to be beside my front door, and I’d water all the other plants in the house and totally forget about this one), yet it it continues to grow, tall and proud.

4: SWEETHEART PLANT (Philodendron scandens)

Often confused with its doppelganger, Devil’s Ivy, this is another lush, trailing plant that demands very little of my time or attention. I can tell if I’ve neglected it too long, as the leaves begin to curl – a good soaking and they’re back to normal the next day.

This plant loves a nice airy spot, but if the brightness is too intense the plant will start growing away from the light – like it’s trying to run away. On the brightest days I’ll lower the blind a bit to keep it happy, but otherwise it it grows quietly and without complaint, and looks great in the process.

5: CAST IRON PLANT (Aspidistra elatior)

The Aspidistra elatior is considered so unbreakable it’s earned the nickname the Cast Iron plant. Obviously you can kill it if you try really hard, but provided you top with water when the soil is dry and keep an eye out for brown edges on the leaves, this is a pretty safe bet for people lacking in green thumbery.

An attractive palm-like plant with long, glossy leaves, arguably its best feature is that it thrives in most light (barring extreme conditions) making it perfect for our shadowy upper hallway, and my questionable plant parenting skills.

So there you have them, my top five houseplants that are almost impossible to kill for the botanically challenged. Happy growing!

Additional images by Severin Candrian; Sarah Bronske; Kevin Lessy, Unsplash