Life with toddlers is busy and fun and hilarious and challenging because sometimes those little people seem to take great pleasure in doing exactly what they shouldn’t…
What I say: ‘Come here, now.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Quick, run in the opposite direction as fast as you can – preferably towards traffic, big angry dogs, or deep water.’
What I say: ‘Please don’t take your nappy off.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Take it off straight away, and leave it dumped it on the floor – preferably full of something nasty.’
What I say: ‘Stop pulling the wet wipes out, please.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Start pulling them out even faster, so by the time I reach you the packet is empty, and they’re all ruined.’
What I say: ‘Do NOT draw on the walls with biro.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Feel free to scribble on any surface you find, it’s not a problem for me to repeatedly paint over it; I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.’
What I say: ‘Don’t eat bits of dust off the floor, it’s disgusting.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Help yourself to anything you spy lying about. Everything you find is entirely edible, and the floor is your own personal smorgasbord.’
What I say: ‘Stop screaming.’
What my 2-year-old hears: ‘Keep screaming. Better still, wait until we’re out in public – preferably on the bus, or in a cafe.’
lol I know what that is like and they still do it when they get to 4!!
I love this!!
I LOVE this post. A work of pure genius!
I’m sitting here nodding and laughing in a knowing way…Haha!
Lucia and Little M will get along very very well!
Hah – You tell them about lil Jax in the sandpit? Mummy says “Have you been eating sand again?” Lil 2 y.o. Jax with sand all around her lips shaking head replies “No Mummy” LOL
Oh yes, that’s correct they all do this! I read that amazing book Happy Kids, Happy You which is NLP techniques adapted to kids. Basically whatever you ask, ask it in a positive manner for example instead of “don’t speak your mouth full” say “please talk to me when you have finished your mouth full”. It doesn’t work ALL the time but you see great improvement. Good luck, it gets better with time anyway 🙂
You’d think saying the opposite of what you want to happen might work, sadly it doesn’t!
ha ha! Do you think they all just plot against us! The thing that gets me at the moment is when we go shopping its like a license to run round and round and round pulling off rails of clothing…arrrrggh!
I love this – so true.
They start listening to us later on though, right? Like when they’re 40… or something 🙂
Have you been a fly on the wall in our house?!
Perfectly captured and so true. Thanks for popping over to visit my little corner of the blogosphere – looking forward to reading more of your life in toddlertown – what a fun place!!!!
gosh!!! my Daughter is nearly 2 now….and this is so so true!!!! Love it!